These exact words were said to me from the back seat of our SUV not even 1 week ago. I turned around and tried not to laugh. His exact words were, “I said what I said Mom. I don’t know what I said, but I said it.” If possible, this is where I would insert the “facepalm” emoji.
I find myself finding it ironic that as a parent now for 14 years, 1 out of the 3 of my children were to turn out EXACTLY like Mom. Not just in, he looks just like me but he actually ACTS like me. At the ripe age of 13, he has it ALL figured out. At 35 years old, I find myself daily conflicted and lost in my own thoughts. How exactly did this sweet, kind young man become so fiercely independent? So straight forward and unapologetically sure of himself at such a young age? Is this truly genetic or just so happens to be a coincidence? I often find myself wondering where and if I went wrong as a parent. I love my children with a fire so deep it cannot even be explained. Yet, at the end of the day, I am so exhausted from the mental battles of not only keeping everyone safe and healthy but truly happy and on the right path.
When I was younger, I always imagined life becoming so much easier as my children got older. Now, I find myself in a new territory (completely new and downright frightening) because I am uncertain of what is to come. So much of my work up until this point (and even daily) is so important because to me, deep down I know my work as a mother is truly never done. Each day that passes is a new opportunity to create, shape, and mold my children into respectful, educated, responsible adults. At the end of the day, isn’t this what all parents want for their children? I can only hope that the long days and sleepless nights fruition into something quite beautiful. For now, this tired mama will take the eye rolling, sweaty hugs, and endless back talk in stride because I know that tomorrow is a new day with my 3 growing teenagers.