Quarantine Restlessness

My thoughts have been drifting mindlessly this week (which is why I haven’t written in a few days.) Most days I feel good and strong. The next, I feel fear, anxiety, sadness, and helplessness. I try to steer clear of the media and radio but no matter where I look the impenetrable, overwhelming sadness is all around me. Death, sickness, confusion. It’s mentally PUNISHING. My role as a wife and mother is to be strong for my family, no matter the circumstances. But at times, I lie awake at night wishing I had the chance, even for a moment, to just give in to the chaos. The uncertainty.

Last night was this type of night. I found the largest, most comfiest hoodie I could find and completely wrapped myself in it. Shivering and exhausted, I wrapped myself almost infant like. How ironic that as young adults we yearn for the day to come to feel freedom and independence, yet at times like these all we want is to be bundled up tight and warm enough to drift off into a deep, peaceful sleep feeling safe and secure.

Today, as I planned to make the most of my day, I decided to pay for the young mans coffee behind me in the Starbucks line. While it might not seem like a big deal to some, I can only hope that I made his day a little more brighter and that he chose to pay it forward. ❤️

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